A/N: Blah. It’s pretty long, lol. I hope you all enjoy and I hope no one gets upset about me using the accident. It was only for the sake of the scenario. :)
It comes every year, but the emotions they feel on that day remain the same. Like the week leading up to a birthday, the countdown to this special occasion is one teeming with excitement. With happiness and pride. They never congratulate each other with words or gifts; it’s not necessary. Just one look says it all: “We’ve made it one more year. Let’s try for many more.”
This year, though, the emotions surrounding Big Bang’s anniversary are a bit different. Though two months have passed since Daesung’s accident, the members feel the effects as if it was just yesterday. Daesung still mourns for the deceased, guilt weighing down his shoulders. As a leader, Jiyong pains for his member and as a man, he weeps for his friend. Seunghyun and Youngbae are no better; as the two oldest hyungs, they ache to help him, but are at a loss about what to say to make it right. And Seungri wants to do something, anything to see the hyung he always looked up to smile again; but, how can he do that when he can’t even seem to find it inside himself to do so?
There’s no doubt that the members are happy to complete one more year hand in hand. But, what are they celebrating when in that year, such tragedy struck their dearest friend? This is the question hanging over their heads as they go on about their day as normal. YG gives them the day off, but Youngbae and Jiyong end up spending most of it at the studio anyway. Seungri convinces Seunghyun to see a movie with him and despite their best efforts, Daesung decides to stay at home, preferring to spend his day reflecting just as he had many days before.
Slowly, that reflection turns to daydreaming and that to gentle sleep. A few hours later, he awakes to the sound of soft murmurs and shuffling coming from outside. He turns to look at the clock and is shocked to see it reads 8:00PM. “I must have been more tired than I thought,” he mutters to himself as he stands from his bed and stretches. Heading out into the living room, he’s surprised to see all four members have returned home before midnight. “Ah, welcome home,” he says softly, studying the scene before him. They’re all surrounding the coffee table which is covered with envelopes and wrapped gifts.
“Ah, Daesung-hyung, I was just about to go get you. We’re reading fan letters,” Seungri explains as he waves the older man over and pats the cushion next to him. “I saved you a seat.”
Daesung smiles genuinely and nods. “Alright.” He steps over Seunghyun’s legs to settle in the open spot next to Seungri, who turns to Jiyong and urges him to begin reading the next one.
“Well, since Daesung-ah came out, I think I’ll read one addressed to him.” Jiyong searches through the pile for a moment before pulling out a very simple white and gold envelope. Unlike the other letters, there is no name or address. It simply reads ‘To Kang Daesung.’ Jiyong tears the flap and pulls the letter out, reading immediately. “Dear Daesung-oppa,” he starts, “I’ve been a fan of yours since the very first day you and the rest of Big Bang stepped onto the stage at Se7en-oppa’s concert…”
The fan letters lead to memoirs and for the first time in a long time, genuine laughter fills the Big Bang home. During the reminiscing, Jiyong brings out some drinks for himself and Seunghyun, and at Seungri’s constant prodding, he gets one for the maknae as well. Seunghyun chuckles at Seungri’s eagerness to drink. “You better not get drunk and confuse Jiyong for a girl again,” he teases.
Jiyong shudders. “I thought we were never going to speak of that again,” he groans out, the mere memory enough to make him feel sick.
Seungri nods. “It was my first time drinking anyway; I’ve gotten a lot better since then, hyung.” As if to make his point, Seungri chugs down his first beer and slams the can down, announcing he’s ready for another.
Youngbae chuckles and shakes his head, a glass of water dangling in his left hand. “This is going to be quite interesting.”
All the while, Daesung stays completely silent. As he watches the members joke and laugh, he lets out a heavy sigh and stares blankly at his hands. He knows that up to now, the lack of energy and laughter in the house has been due to him; they’d taken his pain and made it their own as well. But, is that he wanted them to do? Did he want them to suffer because of his problems, his mistakes? He knows that regardless of what police reports show or what the family says, there are antis who will never let this accident rest; he’s ready for the criticisms and the hurtful remarks that will surely follow him wherever he may go. But, did he want his members to have to suffer that same fate? He lets out another sigh. It’s these thoughts that make him think that maybe, just maybe, leaving Big Bang would be the right thing to do.
He looks back up to see Seunghyun staring at him, studying him. The one thing that Daesung hates and loves about his hyung is the way he can read his mind. Daesung never has to say a word and Seunghyun already knows the whole story. Of course, it comes in handy when Daesung can’t find the will to share his feelings; but when he wants to hide things, it’s the most frustrating thing in the world. He already knows that Seunghyun’s aware of the thoughts running through his mind; it’s clear in the way he’s watching the younger man. The pain in his hyung’s eyes causes Daesung to choke up and he looks away, zoning back into the conversation in an effort to ignore the stare.
The alcohol in Seungri’s system has taken its toll and he’s completely drunk, rambling about this and that. Sometime during the conversation, he’d left Daesung’s side and managed to wedge himself in between Jiyong and Seunghyun on the other couch. Cutting off his musings about college noonas, he lifts his head from Seunghyun’s shoulder and stares at the clock. “Ah,” he starts, “it’s 11:11, hyung, look. Make a wish, hyung, make a wish!” He bounces in his seat giddily, causing each of his hyungs to chuckle in amusement. “I already know what I want to wish for,” he slurs, his eyelids drooping as he fights to stay awake. “I…I want to be five members forever, hyung,” Seungri mumbles drunkenly as he drifts into a peaceful slumber.
Upon hearing the youngest member’s words, Seunghyun looks up pointedly at Daesung, who stares back with teary eyes. “Me too, Seungri-ah. Forever.”
Daesung looks down at his hands again and shakes his head with a small smile. ‘How could I be so foolish,’ he thinks to himself. The roads are always going to be bumpy, but as long as he has these four by his side, he knows he can make it through any and everything life throws at him. Though he rarely drinks, Daesung finds himself taking the last unopened can of beer and pouring it into an empty glass. He raises it for all the members to see and smiles brightly. “Here’s to one more year,” he says, “with my brothers.”
i'm glad you already have your ask box! i'm have been meaning to send you a message since you wrote that fic! anyway, i like it very much! i always check your blog if you update it. haha! i hope you continue it~ fighting! ^^
Thank yooooouuuu, you kind of just made my day :D
I’m sorry I haven’t gotten around to adding more- I’ve been having some aggravating health issues that are distracting me from the more important (i.e.- FUN) work of fanfic writing.
Anyway, I will write more, even if it takes me forever ;)
… I put up part 4, which I had actually written a while ago, but I never posted it because I wanted to add more to it.
Then life got in the way, as it so often does, and it just sat there in a folder.
Sooo I dusted it off a bit and decided to just go ahead and freaking post it up here.
Now I’m trying to decide which direction to go in for this… some of my ideas are super corny, some quite liberally slutty, and some are just absolutely chaotic and never-ending.
Btw I’m annoyed at the name of this fic now- the movie by the same name wasn’t out yet (nor had I even heard of it) when I titled this thing. I didn’t even really mean it as a title, it was just the parameter phrase I was keeping in my head to write this.
I don’t think there had ever been a point in my life when I had been more exhausted, drained, and (let’s be honest) sore as I was that morning. Maybe it was because I was older, or because my lovers tended to be, but the vigorous attentions of a very enthusiastic Tabi were going to take some time for my body to get used to. We had fallen asleep initially with arms and legs entangled in sweaty abandon, but after a few hours of fitful sleeping he was curled up in a fetal position cocooned in my comforter. I laid on my side, my arm propped on one hand, and was gazing with a smile at his sleeping face (the only part of him that was visible). Obviously I wasn’t the only one who was worn out.
What began with me taking charge had soon become a very friendly battle for dominance, and I still wasn’t quite sure who won. Not that it mattered- he seemed quite pleased with himself in any case. Once we reached the bedroom he had undressed me just as methodically as I had done to him, and with each article of clothing he removed the fire in his eyes became more intense. It must have been intriguing for him at the very least. This is a man who is accustomed to willowy, lithe, perfectly proportioned model and dancer types. I have boobs. And ass. And tattoos in intriguing places. All of which he explored quite thoroughly and with great interest.
Which made for a very pleasant night.
Still, as tired as I was, sleep just hadn’t happened for me. I’m a notorious insomniac anyway, and I have a very difficult time just sleeping next to someone. Sure, it’s cute and fun for a little while, but it doesn’t take long for my tossing and turning to begin because someone is existing in my personal space.
Somehow, though, so far Tabi in my bed seemed very non-threatening. Which struck me as an odd thing to think about this very famous, influential, rich, and powerful star that was laying next to me. I couldn’t see him that way though. I knew logically that this was the same star that I knew of before all this. I was very familiar with his talent, his quirky charm, and the powerful charisma that he seemed turn on and off at whim.
But the man I’d come to know was so much more than his image. People saw that he was good to his band mates, but they didn’t see the depth of his love for them, the fierce loyalty he felt for them. People saw him being pouty or pretending to bully the other members on tv, but what they didn’t see was his kind heart, his incredible gentleness, and his vulnerability. People saw his intense charisma when performing, and think of him as scary and a little dangerous, but what they don’t realize is that underneath it all he is very unsure of himself and constantly worried about how people see him.
I was coming to know all the disparate parts of him, and in the process was amazed to discover a true kindred spirit packaged in this idol’s body. A part of me was terrified to realize that there was the potential in me to develop very real, very powerful feelings for this charming boy.
This could be a dangerous thing, and was definitely something I was not prepared for.
"Aah, this boy will be the death of me." I mumbled to myself, shaking my head. I turned onto my back. After brushing my hair out of my face with my fingers, I reached my arms up in a languid stretch. Glancing in Tabi’s direction, I sighed dramatically. Since there was no reaction from him, I reached out and poked him in the stomach.
My answer was in the form of one flailing hand that appeared magically from within the blanket cocoon, followed by unintelligible grumpy groaning.
I grinned, turned over, then crouched on the bed beside him, “Enough… time to wake up…”
The response from within his blanket cocoon was a pathetically small and sleepy moan.
After a split-second of consideration, I hit him in the head with my pillow and leapt away before he had a chance to react.
He shot up from the tangle of blankets and glared blearily in my general direction, face pouty, eyes puffy, hair a disastrous mess. I laughed and pulled the curtains back from the window. This resulted in a squeaky moan from Tabi as sunlight hit him square in the face. He pulled the blanket back over his head and curled up in the middle of the bed.
I’ve meant to put more up on here so many times! I’m sorry I’ve been so slow ;__;
And to all my new followers:
I actually did write more- I got distracted writing a Daesung one that I didn’t feel right about posting, and I’ve written some more personal stuff, but real life sort of got in the way of my creative flow with this main fic.
Thank you all for following, I’ll post up some more soon!
I just read the most amazing fanfic. In fact, it’s beyond the scope of any fanfic I’ve ever read. Familiar Kpop celebrities play characters wholly unlike themselves, and are placed in a brutal post-apocalyptic wasteland. Change the character names and this could stand as a brilliant short story on par with anything I’ve ever read (and I read a LOT).
“Fan fiction is a way of the culture repairing the damage done in a system where contemporary myths are owned by corporations instead of by the folk.”—Henry Jenkins, director of media studies at MIT (via baroquechemistry)
I woke up with a painful crick in my neck and very soft snoring somewhere near my ear. The apartment was dark except for the dim glow from the pause screen of whatever the last video game we played had been. There was something heavy on my shoulder, which confused me until I was awake enough to figure out it was Tabi’s arm. He was sprawled across my couch, and I had fallen asleep sitting in front of it with my legs under the table and my head leaning awkwardly against one couch arm.
I turned hesitantly to see Tabi’s sleeping face right behind me, his head propped up on a folded cushion. I stifled a giggle at his mouth-open-sleeping-face, and just sat there quietly gazing at him for a few minutes. And God, he was pleasant to look at.
We’ve had several nights like this over the past few months. There wasn’t a well defined relationship, we’ve never done anything together besides hang out, watch movies, play the occasional video game (badly), and drink. There definitely, however, had been some amazing hints of sexual tension from his direction, which was a wholly unexpected situation for me. For whatever reason, though, we had never acted on it, and our nights usually ended with us sprawled out like this, happy and weirdly comfortable. Usually at some point before dawn Tabi slipped quietly back into the fold of his real life. No pressure and no expectations, which is how we both seemed to feel most comfortable.
It just works for some reason, maybe because we make each other laugh. Even with the difficulties with language, we seem to understand each other. The more we drink, the more we talk… until my apartment is filled with a non-stop tirade of giggling, stupid impression voices, and bad singing. All of it in a weird amalgamation of English and Korean, punctuated by exaggerated gesturing. I listen to his complaints about the pressure he’s under, I listen to his past frustrations with girls and relationships. I confound him a bit with my non-traditional weirdness, and I mother him a bit here and there when he seems to need it. In turn, he has listened to my drunken rants about the delusion of love, the difficult times in my former marriage, my sexual escapades since my divorce, and my confusion about where my life goes from here.
Sighing, I turned my head to look at him laying before me, and wondered what would happen if we ever decided to go one night without getting too drunk to move. I let my gaze wander down his body, which even in sleep was completely covered with multiple layers of clothing. Since he was asleep (and since he was laid out before me like a banquet) I did what anyone in their right mind would do and let my gaze travel over him at a leisurely pace. I was contemplating the view quietly (thinking what a shame it was to cover up and deprive the world of a thing of beauty like that) when I noticed a fascinating anomaly. The bottom buttons of his shirt were undone, and because he had one arm thrown up over his head and the other still hanging off the side of the couch, his shirt had kind of ridden up. This gave me a clear view of soft belly, belly button, and a respectable happy trail. I bit my lip as a wicked smile spread over my face.
Goddamn it, he was a beautiful man. Why the hell don’t I just take advantage of him already? I sighed yet again as I slid my legs in from under the table and turned to stand. As I laid my hand on the edge of the couch to push myself up, I was startled by a sudden strong grip on my wrist. I turned my head towards Tabi’s face to see him staring at me intently. I wondered how long he had been awake, because it wasn’t his face I had been looking at (and I really didn’t know how long I had been eyeing him like a wanton hussy). We locked gazes for a few beats, without saying anything… then I turned away and again attempted to stand up.
But my wrist was still in his grasp, and he wasn’t letting go.
I turned back to him and smiled, and got a sleepy smile in return. “Sweetie, can you let me go now?” I pleaded, “I need to go to the bathroom, and would like to sleep in an actual bed for a while…”
His gaze didn’t leave mine. “Don’t go…” his grip tightened slightly, “Stay here. Please.”
Adjusting my position so I was on my knees facing the couch, I used my free hand to gently peel his fingers from my wrist one by one. He looked disappointed, but didn’t push it and allowed me to be released. His gaze followed me all the way across the living room, burning a hole in my back until I shut the bathroom door behind me.
I stood for a second against the door like a character in a drama, hand over my racing heart, wondering why I was hesitating. Snap out of it. What’s the big deal? I slapped my face a few times before concluding my intended bathroom business and freshening up. While I gazed at my reflection I thought about all the reasons why letting things go further was probably a bad idea. Cold logic and debate were never really my forte, and in the end my inner voice of reserve just wasn’t very convincing. In the living room I could hear movement, then his voice on the phone calling for his driver… and with that, all reason and logic flew out the window. My eyes snapped in the direction of the living room. No… My hand wrapped around the door handle. Not this time. Not again.
I turned off the bathroom light, slid the door aside, and quietly looked out to see him moving away from me, towards the exit. He was shoving his wallet in his pocket and adjusting his clothes, and had his phone held up to his ear with one shoulder. He made it as far as the front door, and had actually managed to pull it open a few inches, when he was shocked by my hand snaking around him and pushing it firmly closed again. He stopped mid-conversation, nearly dropped his phone, then went utterly still. I took his phone out of his hand, said “Never mind” politely to the voice on the other end, then deliberately turned it off. Tabi was still standing facing the door, but was casting me a pleasantly intense sidelong glance.
Without explanation, I moved closer. I slid my hand along his shoulder and slowly pulled his jacket off first one arm, then the other. Pushing him back slightly, I slid my body between him and the door. With a casual air I untucked and unbuttoned his shirt, while he just stood there staring at me curiously and taking a few long, slow breaths. I knew from our talks that he had always been the dominant one, so I was actually pleasantly surprised that he was letting me take charge… I wondered how long I could get away with it. I leaned in close as if I was going in for a kiss, and he started to lean in to meet me, but instead I reached behind him and deftly slid his wallet out of his pocket and placed it next to his phone on the little table by the door.
Leaning back, I tucked my hands behind me, cocked my head to the side, and evaluated my progress so far. My intention was to unwrap this boy like a present and liberate him from the endless layers of clothing. I realized, however, that unbuttoning his shirt didn’t have the desired effect, as I noticed that he had yet another shirt on underneath it. I glanced up at him, pursed my lips, and shook my head at him. “This won’t do at all.” I slid my hands gently under the first layer of shirt and slowly pushed it down and off. Gliding around behind him, I trailed my fingers along the bottom edge of the undershirt. I could feel him tremble slightly as my hand slid along the circumference of his body and raised goosebumps on his skin. When I grabbed both sides of the undershirt and pulled it up and off of him, he lifted his arms very cooperatively, then threw me a heated glance over one shoulder.
I kissed the back of his neck softly, then slid my arms around his waist from behind with the intention of undoing his belt. Before I got my chance, he suddenly grabbed hold of my wrist, spun me back around towards the door, and pressed against me insistently. Pinning my arms above my head, he leaned in close, his breath shifting past my ear as he whispered something fiercely in Korean that sounded very dirty indeed. Leaving a trail of breathy light kisses along my face, he made his way slowly to my mouth for what became a surprisingly sweet and gentle kiss. Breathing rapidly, we stopped for a moment and just gazed at each other. He released my arms, slid his hands down the door to rest on either side of me, and looked at me with an intensely quizzical stare. I could see the questions swimming in his eyes: “Why now?” ”So are we really doing this?” and “Well it’s about fucking time, lady!”
In reply I reached out and let one hand slide down his now decadently naked torso. I grinned at him wickedly, then ducked under his arm and headed toward the bedroom. As I moved around him I shot him a wry smile and reached back to wrap my fingers around his belt buckle. He raised an eyebrow at my hand placement, gave me a slow smile of his own, then allowed me to lead him away.
My friend’s niece apparently thinks I’m hilarious, and sees me as kind of her cool (ha!) American eonni, so since I live in the same area she does she invited me to tag along to a birthday party with her. A YG family birthday party that was held at someone’s rather decent sized apartment. I was excited to go, but I really didn’t think I’d be seeing any BigBang members there, frankly because a part of me didn’t believe the hype that ”they really are one big family in that company”. However polite they are, why would these rich and famous boys spend their free time hanging out with staff members and employees?
Ok, so I was wrong. Really wrong. We got there kind of late, and not only were the BigBang members all there, they were partying pretty hard. Music was pounding, drinks were being passed around, and everyone (besides Youngbae, and to a lesser extent Daesung) was pretty trashed. It was my kind of party, and I felt very at home almost immediately.
Well, maybe not immediately, but it took no time to get my hands on some vodka, and after that I was good to go.
Like I said before, I am by no means a beauty. I am not skinny, I am not stylish, I can’t dance, and I am fairly socially awkward until I get a few drinks in me. But what I lack in beauty and style I suppose I make up for in at least being somewhat interesting. I have short hair that is usually some funky color or other, I have multiple piercings in my ears and a small lip ring, and I am one of those women who gets along way better with guys than with girls. I definitely got a few side glances from other people at the party, because I so obviously did not fit in in any expected way. This is not to say that anyone was rude- everyone was actually really nice and accommodating- it’s just that they weren’t sure what to do with me.
My friend’s niece pretty much abandoned me from the get-go, so I sipped my drink and gravitated initially towards the people I knew spoke the best English (as my Korean is laughably awful). As the night wound on I managed to get selcas with an amazing array of familiar dancers and YG celebrities. To everyone’s amusement I was dragged out to dance several times, and the fact that I was a good sport about it in spite of my obvious lack of skill kind of seemed to endear me to everyone. At some point it ended up that it was me and TOP facing each other during some terrible American club song, but we were both tipsy enough that we just kind of went with it and did some awkwardly hideous collaborative dance. That was our first real interaction.
Our second interaction was later on in the evening. I went into the kitchen on a quest for water to find TOP and GD in a seemingly awkward position. GD was crouched on the floor looking intently at TOP’s right hip. I stopped with my hand on the kitchen doorway for balance, looked at the scene for a split second, then just grinned at them. Kwon Jiyong glanced up at me briefly, then went back to glaring at his friend’s pants and the obvious tear that was spreading down the seam. TOP was standing with his head twisted around gazing down sadly at the hole, one hand on the counter so he wouldn’t fall over. Over the loud music I couldn’t really make out what they were saying, but I did hear a lot of “aish!” and “omo!” and “eotteoke…” from GD’s direction.
"Guys, I can fix that, give me a second…" They both looked at me with bleary eyes as I darted out of the kitchen. I grabbed my purse from the hallway and ran back. I rummaged for a second until I pulled out my little sewing kit and waved it at them. TOP’s face broke out into a grin, and GD walked up to me, gave a little bow of apology and thanked me. He sighed dramatically and shook his head at his hyung, then left the kitchen to return to the party.
"So, how do we do this?" I took a step closer to TOP, and his eyes narrowed suspiciously as I pulled out a very sharp looking sewing needle. He put his hands up and backed up a step, shaking his head slightly.
"Well sweetie, its either this or you’ll be exposing yourself to all of your friends…" He looked slightly confused for a second before his brain clicked into English comprehension skill mode.
"Not in here." he said to me, then walked past me. He grabbed my sleeve with one hand and took hold of the side of his pants with the other, and led me out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into a rather well-appointed bedroom. He grinned at me apologetically as he closed the door behind us, then seemed to remember something.
He touched his his chest lightly with his left hand, smiled and said “I’m Seunghyun… you can call me Tabi.” He blinked when I laughed at him suddenly.
"I know who you are, but thank you. I’m Anna." I reached out to shake his hand jauntily, which seemed to amuse him. He almost let go of the tear in his pants then his eyes got big as he remembered why his hand was there. He turned unceremoniously and took off toward the bathroom on the other side of the room.
"Wait here please?" he called over his shoulder and closed the door behind him. I sat on the bed and giggled drunkenly to myself at the slight sounds of struggle and sudden sound of something hitting the door in the bathroom.
"Sorry!" I heard his muffled voice call from the other side of the door, "Falling!"
This was just too ridiculous, and I was drunk enough where everything was hilarious anyway, so I threw myself back on the bed, covered my face with my hands, and began to laugh hysterically. I laughed even harder when the bathroom door suddenly opened and his hand came tentatively around and held out the pants to me. I was too busy laughing and didn’t grab them right away, which made him sort of shake them at me forlornly. Which just resulted in more laughter from me.
Yeah, I’m one of those drunks.
I dragged myself off of the bed and finally grabbed ahold of the pants, and looked at him quizzically as his face poked out from around the door.
"Are you just gonna stay in there? This will take a few minutes…" he kind of looked down, then one hand came up in a shrug. "Hold on then…"
I grabbed a blanket off the bed and handed it to him, and a few seconds later he sheepishly came out with it wrapped around his entire body. I snorted with laughter at this, and he pouted and glared at me in a way that was probably supposed to be menacing, but considering the situation was profoundly ineffective. I brought the sewing kit and the pants over to the desk that was in the corner, flicked on the small lamp, and went to work. I’m fast, but it still was taking a bit of time and things were starting to feel a bit awkward when there was a tentative knock on the bedroom door.
Tabi looked alarmed when I called out “Come on in!” a tad more enthusiastically than strictly necessary. The door opened slowly, and a pair of familiar eyes peeked around it cautiously. I had just enough time to register that it was Seungri before he got shoved from behind and the rest of the BigBang members spilled into the room.
"Yah!" Tabi’s look of alarm was gone, but he looked more than a little put out at the sudden audience.
They were all standing around grinning stupidly and making comments in Korean that were way too fast for me to catch, until Youngbae took pity on my lack of comprehension.
"We were just checking, making sure everything is ok," he smiled at me sweetly, nodded, and proceeded to formally introduce me to everyone. I stood up still holding the pants, bowed awkwardly, and introduced myself before sitting back down and getting back to work. Tabi was glaring around everyone at Seungri, who put his hands up, glanced at me, and said "Not my idea!". Jiyong sat on the bed and draped himself over Tabi, Youngbae stood quietly next to Seungri, and Daesung came and sat on the corner of the bed nearest me.
"Noona…" he smiled at me with that sweet face, and I stopped what I was doing to bask in being addressed so adorably. "Daesung imnida!" he said in the cutest voice ever, which sent me into a fit of giggling. He tried a little awful English on me, and I responded in some awful Korean, and we were generally entertaining ourselves with great delight until we heard a loud "YAH!" from the direction of the bed.
I turned and looked curiously at Tabi, who looked down, pouted a bit, then looked up at me again and gestured pointedly at his pants.
"Oh!" I grinned at him, "Sorry! It’s very distracting with everyone hovering over me…"
At this Jiyong jumped off the bed a little unsteadily, grabbed a very drunk Seungri in a back hug, and began pushing him toward the door. “Back to the party, come on!” he called over his shoulder. Youngbae smiled, winked, and tipped his hat at me, and Daesung patted my hand and bowed with a little “Goodbye Noona!” before following Jiyong out.
I looked at Tabi apologetically as the door closed behind everyone. “Almost done, really…” Now that everyone was gone, he looked a little more relaxed, and his response to my statement was the most blindingly brilliant smile I had ever seen. Maybe it was because I was still pretty tipsy, but it actually made my heart skip a beat. I think he knew, too, because he kind of smirked at me cockily. Well, as cockily as he could considering he was wrapped in a blanket and I was holding his pants hostage.
I finished sewing, bit the end of the thread off, turned the pants right-side-out and returned them to their rightful owner. It was a brilliant job (considering my level of drunkenness), but I warned him that it might not last very long.
He began to stand up, pants in one hand, holding the blanket closed with the other. “It’s all right. Thank you. It’s just for tonight.” He stumbled a little on the edge of the blanket and sort of fell into me as he stood upright, nearly losing his modesty in the process. I grabbed the blanket with one hand and his shoulder with the other until he was steady. He kind of looked at me oddly, but I patted him comfortingly and sort of pushed him in the direction of the bathroom.
"Go, put your pants back on. And throw me the blanket so I can put it back on the bed."
The rest of the party was typical. The music got louder, the dancing crazier, and the level of drunkenness became insane due to some drinking games the point of which I really didn’t understand. Taeyang and Daesung dipped out fairly early, dragging a protesting and completely sloshed Seungri with them. Jiyong and Tabi were alternately flirting with the girls or leaning in close whispering with each other. I ended up sitting in a circle on the floor with my friend’s niece and several of the dancers, who were teaching me all kinds of dirty sayings in Korean. Eventually, though, it was getting close to dawn, and it was time to go. I said my goodbyes and thanked everyone for putting up with me, then my friend’s niece and I put our arms around each other’s shoulders and headed for the door.
"Wait!" I heard from behind me, "Yah! That’s it?"
I turned around to see Tabi looking at me with an unfathomable expression on his face.
"Hmm?" … really, I was too drunk to be super eloquent at this point.
"I have to thank you. Give me your number." He pulled out his phone and looked at me expectantly.
I gaped at him stupidly, thought about protesting, then reprimanded myself "What are you, a freaking idiot?!" and gave him my number without further ado.
(author note- this is ongoing, and may be long, so bear with me?)
He showed up, as usual, late into the night. It was a time when normal people would be getting ready for bed, but of course I was awake blasting music from my computer so loud that I almost didn’t hear the doorbell ring. What was slightly embarrassing was that it was one of his songs that I was attempting to sing along to in my awful approximation of Korean, and and since my living room window was cracked open I just knew he had to have heard me.
Which would explain the slightly goofy grin plastered on his face when I finally opened the door. He had a bottle of some expensive wine under his arm, his cell phone and a plastic bag in one hand, while he leaned lazily against the door frame with the other.
"Um… hi." I looked at him suspiciously "I thought you guys were out of the city for the weekend, filming a video or something?"
"We finished early," he said in his painfully adorable accent as he pushed off the doorframe and propelled himself past me into my apartment.
"And…?" I said as I slammed the door shut behind him (startling him slightly) and followed him to the kitchen counter.
"What 'and?'- I just felt like coming here. My place is too quiet.” He put his stuff down and turned around to face me suddenly with his brows slightly furrowed in concern “You don’t like it? It’s late I know…”
I couldn’t help but grin at the childlike distress worrying his face, and when I suddenly laughed he looked slightly confused. I have to say, I truly love when he looks slightly confused.
"Sweetie, you’ve known me long enough to know I keep vampire hours. I don’t mind at all, I was just surprised to see you." I gestured at the bag and the wine, "So what’s all this then?"
He looked relieved, then suddenly he was all excited. He brought the bag to the coffee table and and started pulling out an odd assortment of convenience store snacks. He looked so proud of himself that I couldn’t help laughing at him again, which resulted in another furrowed-brow look at me.
I laughed even harder, “It’s just- the expensive wine… doesn’t seem to match the food…” I continued to giggle inanely while it took him a second to catch my meaning.
"Aah, aish- I had the wine at home, bought the food tonight! It was the only place open on the way here. You don’t mind?"
I shook my head and grinned at him, “Not at all, I was actually starving, and I hate cooking.”
When you think about it, our friendship is completely ridiculous. We met in the usual I knew-someone-who-knew-someone kind of way- I had come to Seoul over a year ago with my camera equipment, my laptop, and a fairly decent divorce settlement. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but I had a very good friend who just moved back to Korea. She insisted that I start my longtime dream of traveling with visiting Seoul and spending some time with her and her family. This friend also has a niece who just so happens to work as a dancer for YGE… I think you see where I’m going with this.
I ended up at some vip party, and he and his bandmates were the guests of honor. I knew who they were- I had actually been a huge fan for years- but being much older than them (and far from beautiful), I was well aware that any lingering fangirly dreams were wholly unrealistic. I was already married and divorced and completely cynical about cutesy things like love by the time I met BigBang. The fact that they were so far outside my realm of possibilities completely took any pressure off. It allowed me to interact with them as myself rather than a flustered fan… I think that’s what made the difference.
When I got a chance to personally meet them, they were all very friendly and polite to me. Sadly, they really were much too busy hobnobbing and thanking people for me to get much of a chance to talk to any of them for very long. When the night ended I had a couple of photos of me with the band members, and was generally quite pleased with how things had turned out. I figured that was that.
A few weeks later, the universe gave me another chance…
(author note- sorry so short, and for the awkward cut-off… there was just no other natural place to break it)